W-Recommend: Working Mothers to Their Daughters: Marry Rich Men. By TimesOnline
Recently I have found an article in TimesOnline which draw my attention because of the provoking title: ‘Having it all is a myth girls, so just make sure your daughters marry rich men’ (by India Knight).
The article is based on the recent observations made among the working women. The author herself was surprised by what she has heard from her friend – a succesful businesswoman and mother:
When I asked her about her two little girls and what she’d like them to do when they grow up. “I’d like them to marry rich men and do a little light charity work,” she said. Of course, it seemed laughable. But she was deadly serious.
The author claims:
When it comes to mothers and work, the question I would most like to be answered is: “Would you like your daughter to have a life like yours?” If you asked a man the same thing about his son, the answer would probably be: “Yes, give or take the odd thing.” But for mothers the case is usually different. For an increasing number of women, the answer now seems to be a resolute: “Absolutely not.”
You can choose to work or not work, or work a bit, but there is always a price to pay. Call it a fundamental gender-based inequality, call it sexism, call it what you like. The point is, it exists and you ignore it at your peril.
The article refers also to the views of Erin Pizzey, a women’s rights pioneer, a British family care activist and a best-selling novelist. She became internationally famous for having started one of the first Women Refuges in 1971. She also the founder of UK domestic violence charity Refuge. What she has learnt through ther over 70 years of life, may surprise many:
“There has been a subterranean war between men and women which has largely been won by women, who don’t understand what they’ve lost. The women’s movement, has left us all with one great legacy: choice. But choice suggests considered, rational decisions. Instead, my generation of women have hurtled headlong into the fray, grabbing what we can — babies, jobs, mortgages — with very little forethought and an increasing sense of panic. We were imprisoned by our choices, but I’d feel a lot more imprisoned if I didn’t have the choice in the first place. Having said that, we all suffer from working-mother guilt — I soul-search every week. I do think you can have children, a happy domestic life and a career, but it comes at a price.”
She sais also that
“There was a little more joy from the stay-at-home-mother camp, but not much. “I’d like her to spend as much time with her children as I have with mine,” said one woman, “but I’d also like her not to wake up in the middle of the night wondering what happened to her brain, her life, her ambitions, her dreams. Not wondering, really: panicking.”
It is definitely an article worth reading – a radical voice in the on and off feminist discussion. Read the complete article here.
Source: TimesOnline
As described on the article written by India Knight, the “Mercenary Marriage” is a marriage of convenience.
By large, the harsh and demanding financial realities of life in contemporary times has pushed more married people to place their focus on money, on their marriages, in the way they deal with their children and largely influence their lifestyles.
I believe that as this mentality continues, the real, sustaining, enriching essence of family life (which I assume most families will neglect) will continue to deteriorate to a point where families will eventually notice that money can only do so much, and that the children raised in such a questionable philosophy might lose a certain sense of empathy, in personal relationships, their societal roles, and a questionable outlook towards the married life. This somewhat slightly dysfunctional way of life, might have profound negative influences in the future.
This is the modern day challenge for a modern day family, and certain communities and cultures in the world would not be so forgiving towards working parents and their kids. Certainly, “Mercenary Marriages” would be the only answer to deal with the demands of the ever-progressing world now, however, the chances of setting up a stage for a much more socially challenging global community for the next generation will be highly likely or completely unavoidable.