W-Women Globally

She says that having cancer enriched her life, changed it for good. A few weeks after she was diagnosed she established the foundation to help young women diagnosed with cancer in preserving their fertility – an approach that has never been taken before. Now, at 32-years old and a breast cancer survivor, columnist in Huffington Post and – of course and most of all – Founder and Interim Executive of her own foundation ‘My Vision’, she lives a life in harmony with herself, others – and God.

W-WomenGlobally: when and how did you find out you had cancer?

Alice Crisci, My Vision Foundation, founder: I found my lump on a Sunday (Feb. 17, 2008). I discovered it while scratching mindlessly at a little itch quite high on my chest. In fact, it was so high, I wasn‘t sure if I had breast tissue where I found it! I called my OBGYN the next day and she told me to go straight to the breast center for an ultrasound. I was very busy that week with work and scheduled my ultrasound for Friday. I watched on the monitor as my breast surgeon navigated the wand over my lump. I saw discoloration and blood flow from the mass. Although she tried to be reassuring, I knew that this mass was not a fibroid. She then performed a small needle aspiration just to determine if there were cancer cells present. Two days later, I flew to NY for work.

My doctor and I scheduled a call for Wednesday morning (Feb. 27, 2008) to discuss the results of the biopsy. I was debriefing with the VP of HR about the goal setting workshop I just ran when I said to her: „I‘m sorry, but I have to go find out if I have breast cancer. Can we wrap this up later?“ That was the first incident of a quirky phenomenon about being diagnosed: I became a compulsive truth teller. I think I actually enjoy making others uncomfortable. Somehow breast cancer gave me this freedom to speak the truth in my heart.

Three minutes later, my doctor said, „Alice, I hate to have to tell you this over the phone, but you have cancer.“

W-WG: as a woman whose mother and grandmother have been cancer survivors, were you ‘prepared’ or conscious about having cancer yourself at certain point?

AC: My mother, her sister and their cousin all had breast cancer after menopause. I wasn‘t prepared at all for hearing that news at my young age. I definitely lived like I didn‘t have to worry about my health for at least another 20 years. That‘s when the heart and cancer issues seem to become problematic on both sides of the family. Three years before being diagnosed, I had a minor scare when my OBGYN found a very tiny lump that turned out to be just a fibroid. It felt like I practiced being afraid then, so this time around, I knew when I found my lump that it was breast cancer. Having my  intuition confirmed rocked my world. I suppose it may be the only time in my life I wanted to be wrong!

W-WG: What is your educational and professional background?

AC: I‘ve been an entrepreneur since I was a teenager. Although, my degree from James Madison University is in broadcast journalism, I built a consulting practice around catalyzing growth in other companies or solopreneurs. I’ve worked inside about 75 companies from 20 or so different industries. I‘m alifelong student of human behavior and was able to apply a multi-disciplinary self-education to developing leadership talent in others, strategic planning and facilitating effective meetings. At the time I was diagnosed, I was writing a book on my small business growth method and developing my brand. My Vision is my Godly calling. Everything I learned in other organizations, everything I‘ve read, everything I studied in college, everything I love to do and everything I love to be is now possible in the foundation. It‘s the crossroads of what seemed like disjointed lines along my life. The dots sync up. There is order to what I thought was chaos.

W-WG: Are there any things you can say you have learnt – about yourself, life, others – because you have been sick?

AC: So much! I could write an entire book on what I‘ve learned (and I probably will! HA). Breast cancer forced me to accept myself for who God created me to be, both inside and out. I was striving for perfection in the past, pretending like I wasn‘t. I was sprinting through life, missing the cherished moments spent with a friend over tea or chatting with my mom at the end of the day, playing with my dogs or cuddling with them in peaceful silence. I tried to fix my boyfriend and all his “flaws”˛ as a way to avoid my own. He‘s not the one for me and I realized that as soon as I gave up trying to fix him. We just weren‘t right for each other. I see people now, ALL of people. All the light and all the dark.

My faith has grown significantly. My Aunt Sharon says, „It‘s between you and God.“ I live by that now. There is great freedom in my heart and soul. I am 100% self-expressed. I am open, softer, available, vulnerable. I‘m much girlier too! I used to try and fit into the powerful executive woman look, whatever that is! Now, I sport a tattoo on the inside of my right wrist and truly just let the REAL me shine from the inside out. I wear less makeup, don‘t bother with manis and pedis as routine maintenance. I‘ve gone from being a girl with a lot of adult responsibilities on my shoulders to a woman, wise, mature and as playful and vibrant as a child, with little concern for being the best at something in the room, like the skinniest, smartest, richest, etc. Put an est on the end of any adjective and I wanted to be that to prove I was worthy and be accepted, no adored, by everyone. It‘s a lot easier living life now that I don‘t have to be any -est˛ for anything or anyone!

I‘ve definitely learned that the most important thing is my relationship with God and that my family goes first in this world. I used to carry around lots of resentments from my past. I thought I wasn‘t, but now that they are gone, I realize how angry and defensive I was! It must have been very difficult for people to get close to me. My relationship with my mom and dad is absolutely extraordinary now. I feel so blessed that I got to know them just as people, rather than the parents who were „responsible“ for all my brokenness. I‘ve learned so much about them in the last year that I never knew before. We are great friends now.

I‘m no longer afraid of death. I get anxious any time something happens to my mom or dad, or if I find the slightest issue with my own health, but that‘s mostly because I‘m not done living my calling and I‘m definitely not done being in relationship with my parents!

Humans are just humans. And if you don‘t have a strong relationship to our Creator, than life will be full of self-inflicted suffering. I really notice how human beings have this nature (me included) to create suffering for ourselves. I‘ve realized that life will throw all kinds of trials at me that are REAL suffering. It was REAL pain when I woke up from surgery. It was REAL devastation when my boyfriend moved out. It was REAL suffering when I thought I was going to die from my first chemo infusion. It was REAL fear when I couldn‘t walk around the block because the side effects from my chemo were so severe. Resenting a friend, holding on to a grudge from the past, hating your job, being “so busy” or complaining about having no time to eat right, exercise or take care of yourself are all examples of self-inflicted suffering. When are we, as a culture, going to stop treating our health like its a luxury?!

I‘ve learned who I really am, the essence of me. Other people knew be better than I did. I was very familiar with what was dark, what my issues were, but I didn‘t really stop to notice the gifts God gave me like leadership, wisdom, empathy. He gave me a gift of communication and the ability to jumpstart any project or idea. I‘ve embraced the divine in me and learned how to be responsible for the not-so-divine. I‘ve learned my body, mind and emotion has limits and that caffeine is not a strategy for stretching those limits. I‘ve quit caffeine completely. I can succeed when I‘m tired. I was always afraid I’d fail if I was tired. After doing the things I did while exhausted on chemo ­ public speak, coach executives, build the foundation, write my columns, I now know what I am capable of regardless of how rested I feel.

I also am so in tune with my body now. Ridiculously in tune with it.

I ask for help now too. With everything. I no longer run around as if I have to do everything on my own or it will make me look bad. I just reach out to people right away if I don‘t know how to do something or just need someone to hold my hand, be it holding a garage sale or updating my financial accounts on Quickbooks.

It was extremely liberating being bald. It wasn‘t just the hair on my head, it was my entire body being virtually bald. I was forced to see me for me. And so was everyone else. I felt beautiful and slowly let go of needing others to think I was beautiful. I finally want a man to fall in love with me for who I am ­ all of me which comes with the scars, flaws, cellulite, the whole bit!

I could go on an on about the things I’ve learned. But, If feel like I‘ve told a very long story already.

W-WG: When did you get the idea of creating your foundation? why?

AC: I feel like the idea for the foundation was divine intervention. I was sitting in the business managers office at my fertility doctor with my friend and colleague Jen. I already began the hormone injections that morning. I was 100% sure from the word go that I would freeze embryos and eggs before surgery. I didn‘t even know if I needed chemo yet, but intuitively knew I would proceed anyway. The cost is exorbitant and insurance doesn‘t cover any of it. The business manager was online researching organizations to help me, Jen was on the phone calling some of the places to see if I qualified for the programs and I was on the phone to American Express, raising my credit limit just in case we couldn‘t find any financial help for me. There is a great program called Fertile Hope, but I didn‘t meet the income qualifications. While we were in that office (and after they ran my AMEX), I looked at Jen and said, „We should start a foundation.“ And we didn‘t stop talking about it. Every turn in my breast cancer journey, I discovered how few resources exist for women my age who are diagnosed. I didn‘t relate to my mom‘s experience at all. She already had grown children and was past menopause when she was diagnosed. I felt very strongly that God called me to build My Vision. Proverbs 29-18 „Without Vision, the people will perish“, became my mantra. My world went so dark when I was diagnosed. I couldn‘t see my future at all. Going through with fertility preservation gave me hope and a new vision of the future with me as a mom. I felt so strongly that what was missing for women of reproductive age was an inspiring place they could learn about their fertility options and make informed choices, while connecting with others who have gone through the largely ignored topic of fertility and breast cancer. Anytime I questioned whether or not to move forward, I heard this voice in my head: „Alice, if not you, then who?“

W-WG: Does „My Vision“ foundation cover US only, or also other countries? do you cooperate with other initiatives of this kind?

AC: Our non-profit is first as a global educator. We don‘t translate into our languages yet, but we will. Our advocacy for taking action to preserve fertility is also universal and applicable worldwide, though the fertility preservation techniques are not likely to be worldwide. Our cryobank partner for our Fertile Action program is worldwide. We have a localized outreach program in Los Angeles that we intend to replicate in other cities. Yes, we cooperate with everyone! One such cooperative effort is our relationship with Fertile Hope. Lyndsey Beck pioneered the fertility and cancer industry. They have a Sharing Hope program that enables cancer patients to go to pre-approved centers for discounted fees. Coupled with our discounts on sperm selection and storage packages, we are able to offer women a comprehensive support program. That‘s just one example ­ we have relationships with Christina Applegate‘s foundation to launch her Early Action program and I’m Too Young for This (I[2]Y).

W-WG: What is your vision? mission?

AC: As a foundation, we promise to protect every woman’s vision of her future as a mother. We will educate them on fertility options and financially assist women with fertility preservation. We will provide support for difficult, life-changing decisions and connect them to the resources they need. We will advocate for healthcare reform that can improve the quality of life for breast cancer patients and raise public awareness about the unique challenges that the young adult cancer community faces. We promise to inspire courage and emotional healing by connecting the newly diagnosed with those who conquered their cancer diagnosis and aftereffects. We will expand internationally so all young women have access to our products and services worldwide.

Our mission is to ensure that every woman touched by breast cancer has the opportunity to be a biological mother. We also are changing the social consciousness of this country by encouraging single women to use donor sperm to create embryos, the only proven fertility preservation method. And finally, we are joining the advocacy mission that Congresswoman Wasserman Shultz is lobbying for: an early detection bill called EARLY (Education Awareness Requires Learning Early) Act  that will fund early detection programs across the country. We will be international. Women need My Vision.

W-WG: What are your private/professional plans for the future? (have you been dancing with Ellen DeGeneres by now? Congress-plans? – as you mentioned in the Ladies Who Launch feature)

AC: I haven‘t been on Ellen yet! Honestly, I used to plan for my future down to every last detail and now I live for the day. I wake up in the morning, financially broke, but spiritually rich. How many people get the chance to be 100% self-expressed every day?! I want to bring Glory to God for trusting me with My Vision and giving me this voice, this gift of communication to bring change and inspiration to the world. I‘m the visionary, so I‘d love to hire an Executive Director to run the operations of the foundation, while I move forward on product development, outreach and strategic partnerships. I‘ve been awarded a scholarship to attend an advocacy training workshop in Washington, DC so appearing at my first Congressional Hearing feels very much like its around the corner!

I pray that my Mr. Right is around the corner too. I have a strong connection to my frozen embryos  (see the video) and feel as though there are a couple little souls waiting for me to bring them into this world. I‘ll need to use a surrogate if I want to have children before I‘m 37 or 38 (when I‘m off Tamoxifen, a medication that causes severe birth defects). My sister and neighbor have both offered to be surrogates!

My priorities used to be: Career, Me, Me, career, Me, friends that could help with my career, friends, Me, family, Me some more. I know I had a lot of love in my heart, but man was I living so self-centered. I am so driven from Mary Kay Ashes famous mantra „God first, family second and career third.“ God is definitely first now and I‘m a 1,000 times more available for my family than I used to be. As for my career, I don‘t even feel like I have one. I feel like I was born to be of service to these women. I was born to write and share openly about my life experiences. I was born to protect these women who are touched by breast cancer. I have an unbelievable life.

W-WG: what do you think are the top priorities to be done connected with cancer research/treatment/etc. by governments/organisations worldwide?

AC: Firstly, the focus should be on the young adult population in general. We are a vastly under-researched community. I know there are many health issues still underfunded, but if I am looking at the cancer community alone, I would certainly lobby Congress for educating girls at the onset of their period to perform self-breast exams, for insurance companies to cover at least a portion of the fertility preservation costs and for significant research dollars to be applied to the young adult cancer community. We absolutely need more services available worldwide for young adults. Many of us are single with no family in the immediate area. Going through treatment and especially trying to restore health is quite difficult if you are on your own. I believe that the community (whether its church, school, your company or neighborhood) are the ones to lift up the sick and suffering.